"Los Vino" - Embrace, connection, caminar...

I love „Los vino” (Otros Aires)! I’ve been hooked on it for quite a while now. I mean I had it as a ringtone for a year, I get thrilled at the sound of it, or the sound of anything similar... I listened to its lyrics, I know it by heart : ) I dance and sing it anytime and anywhere!

These 2 lines stuck with me from the beginning: 'Su abrazo en mis manos era un pincel/ y la pista un liezo' (her embrace in my arms was like a brush/ and the dance floor a canvas)

How beautiful the idea that she – in his arms – can become the reflection of a painting on the dance floor! So, for a while, in Saturday’s milonga, I’ve watched the feet of the dancers differently, following the beautiful drawings they leave on the floor, the elegance of their sliding, how they complement one another on music…

At one point I remembered that the lyrics say „su abrazo” (her embrace), so it made me think that it’s not the feet, but the embrace that creates this painting on the floor... And that the more authentic, live and vibrant the connection is, the more harmonious, colorful, playful the painting becomes...

Yesterday as I was sitting on a bench in the bus stop, under the moonlight, just after sunset, earplugs on, I hear – by shuffle’s choice – „Los vino”. A smile bloomed on my face and I „disappeared” for a couple of minutes from the station into a perfect dance, somewhere on a wooden dance floor of a fairytale milonga. This time the trigger was another line of the song: 'pero entre tanda y tanda/ dejo su ombligo junto a mi cuerpo' (but between tandas she kept her navel close to my body).

Flash back: year 2009; some tango festival; me – having just entered my second year of tango – am invited to dance; him – an experienced tanguero; me – posing into an innocent „blank mind”-like attitude... : D

I wish I could describe the preparation of the embrace and the creation of the connection! But I could only manage to explain its mechanics and that’s not the point.

I remember these:

- we didn’t step at the first sounds of the song; we just took the time to know each other and we abandoned ourselves to the music and the connection; its preparation and creation forever marked my life as a tanguera

- I felt that all my worries melted in the comfort of the embrace and I surrendered in his arms without any doubt that it was the right thing to do

- the first 2 songs were CAMINAR! What a divine caminar!... the communication was so intense that we didn’t let go of the embrace, not even in between the songs. We just waited patiently, connected heart to heart, to embark on the waves of the next song

- at the end of the tanda he led my back to my seat, me – dizzy and euphoric. I had just finished the tanda of my life so far!

The feeling of pure happiness resembled a lot to the feeling of falling in love (but it’s not that, though…)

Of course, one could „blame it” on his experience...

Yes...

BUT...

Something alike just happened to me again a few weeks ago! And this time – surprise! – with a 4 months beginner…

I could smell something from the way he invited me to dance… Ok, I’m kidding! I had no preparation whatsoever for what was going to happen! But I had my first clue as soon as he embraced me. We just stood there during the first sounds, building the connection, calming the emotions. Then we took off to a caminar that was stunningly similar to the one I had imprinted in my memory from that festival back in 2009.

It was an entire tanda of caminar and I dare place it before any other tanda filled with dangerous words like gancho, boleo, planeo, quebrada, cunita, volcada, colgada… : ) For the simple reason that I felt that univers – incredibly comfortable and full of sensations, born from the connection of hearts. I only wish it wouldn’t have been interrupted in between the songs ; )

One thing is certain, though: it really does feel very much like falling in love! : )

And I find that this happiness is one of the most valuable gifts we can give to each other through tango.

And no! It’s not just from... los vino... : )

Cora

My fantasy world

Tanguera Journal: January 10th, 2008 – Thursday

Yesterday evening I had the tango class! I know I’ve been waiting for it anxiously because it was the first dance class this year! It’s funny…  usually I’m more anxious about the salsa lesson, but since I haven’t been dancing since the middle of December, now even the tango lesson was a reason to be all smiley and happy : )  

But I had no idea it was going to make me so ecstatic… It was AWSOME!! Oh!... I got there at around 6pm, met with the guys – Alex, Mike, Jane, Laura… We had a good laugh, talked about the holidays and stuff. Finally, the teachers – Emily and Joe – came and we began the class. We had our usual warm-up and then Joe said that boys should invite the girls to dance. I was standing (intentionally…) next to Mike… I loooove dancing with him! So, he did invite me! : D We danced for a few songs trying to practice what we’ve learned last year and I must admit I rocked! I’m so modest and all!! : ))

Then the magic happened: Joe showed us a new structure. Emily was busy with some registrations for the salsa congress that they were organizing, so Joe took one of the girls to show us, but she didn’t manage to follow… she’s new… So he turned to me and asked if I can help him. He’s never done that before! I felt important, but a little scared, too (I didn’t show that!). I did good, though, and Joe said that I must’ve done something during the holidays that I became such a good follower… Hihihi… But he was right! I mean I had big problems following before, and now, I don’t know what happened, it felt so easy. Maybe the break helped all the information settle in. Who knows?

After he showed the structure he told everyone to try it with music and he came back to me and said “Let’s see how you do on music” and we danced an entire song! That was another first : ) But the way we danced… that was the big surprise! I mean, he did stuff he never taught us before, stuff that I didn’t know my legs could do! And it was all so… I don’t know… connected and  fluid and... dreamy! 

I went home after that and began to look up videos on YouTube about and with tango. I lost myself in them until morning almost. I think it was 4am when I realized how late it was and I had to wake up this morning to go to work. But right now I don’t even feel tired and I still have that big kinda stupid smile on my face…  I have a very strange feeling, like when you’re in love and it’s so good! I don’t want to lose it. It’s enough to close my eyes and remember the dance from last night and it all comes back: the ecstatic feeling, the smile, that other world I’d discovered. I want to jump up and down with joy, but I’m at work, so I really can’t. So play another tango and just let my imagination do what I saw in all those videos last night. 

I feel like I’ve just discovered my fantasy world! : )

Cora

The importance of the follower’s response in the embrace and why the technique is not the answer

A former student of mine told me once that she was confused about how she should respond to the embrace of the leader: some of them ask for a firm, almost tense embrace and some ask for a very loose and relaxed one. She asked me what is the true and correct answer to her dilemma and what is the technique for it. 

The truth is that there is no truth here. Or better yet, the truth is somewhere in the middle. When a follower is in the first year of her tango, she’s merely defining her posture and understanding her body, its reactions, its natural state of being. And she tends to take for granted what a leader is asking from her, especially if the leader is a more experienced one. The danger here is that usually a more experienced dancer doesn’t speak the beginner language anymore. This is not a judgment! Fact is that when we consider ourselves let’s say intermediate we start taking some of the basics for granted. For instance, we tend to forget the trouble we went through when learning the simple caminata and now that we “own” it we think it’s the most natural thing in the world and all dancers should know how to do it. So when a beginner comes along and has “existential” questions about the simple things, we have trouble explaining simply. We complicate it with all the other information that we gathered along our own tango discoveries. Therefore, when a follower is seeking her embrace, a leader’s answer – like “it needs to be more present” or “ it needs to be more relaxed” – can confuse even more that follower. 

The embrace is not a thing that can be taught very easily with technique. Ok, a teacher can explain the position of the body: where you put the arms, how you keep your head, where’s the point of contact or where the points of contact are and how they change and so on. But that helps up to a certain point. The part with the pressure, relaxation or presence is a little bit more difficult to explain. 

So, I told my student that there should be pressure neither pressure, nor relaxation, but presence. And to make it more relevant, because the term “present” is also very ambiguous, I gave her a metaphor. Imagine that you are in a conversation with someone in a café. You’re sitting in a comfy chair and the conversation is rather boring. So you’re relaxed, sitting back, your body would react slower to any kind of change in position. Let’s suppose the conversation shifts to an unpleasant topic and you get all tense. You sit straight and stiff and again, your body would react slower to a change because it would have to get out of the tension first. And in the middle of these two extremes is the state of presence. Let’s say that the conversation becomes very interesting, it’s on a subject that gets all your attention, it’s very lively and your interlocutor is very talented in telling the story. So your attitude changes, your body is more alive, your back is upright, you may even lean a little bit forward and your speed of reaction increases. You’re present in the conversation as if living the story that’s being told. It’s like the entire world around has disappeared and you’re there only for each other. 

She told me that she’d never thought of the dance from this perspective and it made a lot of sense for her. And I have her confirmation that she got compliments on her embrace some time after this story : )

It’s one way to look at things. And it’s not technique that will make your embrace memorable, but feeling and understanding the relationship we have with each partner. And, most of all, it’s about the particularities of that relationship and the presence of each of the partners in the “conversation”. 

Enjoy your embraces! See you in the ronda ; )

(http://gancho.info/the-importance-of-the-followers-response-in-the-embrace-and-why-the-technique-is-not-the-answer/) 

Cora

The “first time” perspective

In last month’s article I was talking about how life and tango are similar experiences, how the way we are in life influences our tango and also the way we dance influences our lives. I challenged you to find examples in your life and tango to sustain this idea and promised to talk about one of my own experiences. So, here is mine.

It was my second chance to dance with this amazing leader. The first time I’ve danced with him it was like in a fairytale: perfect connection, breathtaking feelings… I didn’t know I can dance-fly like that! So I was really looking forward to dance with him again. An entire year had gone by, I’ve been learning tango a lot during that time, so I had big expectations from our second meeting. A week before our meeting in the milonga I was so enthusiastic I could hardly sleep : )

And we met, he did invite me to dance and… it was a total disaster! We both knew it… we couldn’t connect, synchronize, feel … there were a tension and a frustration… We interrupted the tanda after 2 dances and that created an even bigger frustration in me. 

It was the first (and, fortunately, the last) time I was left in the middle of the tanda. It was the first time I didn’t understand what happened and why. And the whole experience led to my first (and, so far, last) big break from tango. After this, I took about 4 months off.

But “Why?” was the big question! Why did it happen like that? Why wasn’t I able to dance? Neither with him, nor with other leaders present at the event. I mean, no other leader made me feel it so roughly, but it was a pattern.

So I dug deeper. And I looked at the bigger picture. Two months before I’ve had surgery and I was in recovery, both physical and emotional. I had just moved to another town and I was still adjusting.  I was in a tensed relationship with a lot of resentment and frustrations.  All of that had an effect on my emotional state of being that I wasn’t even aware of. Until THE tanda. 

To all this I can add the pressure of the expectations, of course. 

What has this experience brought me? Well, firstly it brought me the understanding that being aware of the happenings in my life could save me the pain in tango. Moreover, it could bring healing through tango. I mean when we know we’re not feeling good at a certain moment in our lives we shouldn’t put pressure on tango to help us recover. But, on the other hand, accepting our rough moments in life, going along with them allows our tango to become healing. 

Secondly, I found out that breaks in tango are ok. They allow the information to settle in our minds and bodies, so that when we come back we’ll have the nice surprise of seeing how much we’re actually learned. And the moment of return can be any moment in time, because tango will wait for us as long as we need. 

And I also learned that tango offers a lot of first times, on a lot of levels and in many directions. As we evolve constantly, I could say that each time I listen to a song is a first time, cause it’s influenced by the very unique feeling I have in my life in that moment. The same is with every embrace, every dance, every tanda, every festival, everything in tango. And in life. That keeps us fresh and makes us better.

So I’d urge you to keep this perspective of first time in everything! 

(http://gancho.info/the-first-time-perspective/) 

Cora

Why is it so difficult to be a beginner in Tango?

Tango was born from longing/missing. It’s called Argentine Tango, but it was born among the homesick immigrants brought from all over the world to Latin America to become slaves in the New World. So, actually, tango is a worldwide heritage, born in Argentina.

Tango was born from feelings and life into expression that manifested itself in music and dance. Therefore, through its very nature, tango reflects the feelings and lives of the dancers.

This is why, maybe, it’s so difficult to be a beginner in Tango. It gives that strange feeling, a mere intuition, that, if you give into it completely, you’ll be seen mask-less against your will; and you can’t control that, so at first you fight it. Do you recognize this feeling? : D

I’ve always thought (ever since I’ve been dancing tango, I mean) that tango and life are such similar experiences, governed by the same principles, that the way you live reflects the way you dance and, at the same time, the way you dance reflects the way you live your life. So why not simply merge the 2 experiences to improve them both?

I was once asked how do I teach the feeling of tango to my students and at that point I couldn’t answer. I thought long and hard about it and after a while it just hit me: you need to get to know the people and their lives so that you can give in tango the same feeling they have in their daily lives. Only then they open up and really understand it, then they slowly start to bring their life into their dance and soon after that they start to bring their tango into their lives.

When, as a beginner, you start dancing your tango the same way you live your life, you stop focusing on the steps, then you just dance.

It’s neither an easy process, nor a short one and some don’t have the patience to go through it. Sometimes the teachers don’t have this patience to get to know their students and then they keep learning mimetically and evolve slowly and dance only with their bodies. Sometimes the students don’t have it and become just copies of others. But sometimes a miracle happens and teachers get through to those who really want to learn and they begin to dance their own tango. For me, as a teacher, these are the most rewarding moments and I’m grateful to have had a few!

I still consider myself a beginner, I still learn a lot from each person I meet and dance with, or simply talk to. I still haven’t made all the connections between my dance and my life and I probably will never get to the end of it since both experiences evolve continuously.

So, I just want to say to all my fellow beginners: tango is the X-ray of our personality. In tango we can’t lie. Give yourselves the chance to discover who you are : )Have patience with yourself both, in the dance and in your life. You’ll be surprised to see how much you still can learn about your own personality and also how much you can heal through this. And when you feel that you’re losing patience, remember that you have to learn to crawl before you learn to walk…

And tell me: would you share an experience in which you realized how your life influenced your tango? Or the other way around? If yes, I’ll share one of mine too ; )

(http://gancho.info/why-is-it-so-difficult-to-be-a-beginner-in-tango-2/)

Cora

Tango - the journey to ourselves and love

[romana aici]

In one of the last times at the tango lessons I was talking about the so called „bad habits”, about how fast and subtle they form and how difficult it is to get rid of them. So I decided to develop a little the subject.

First of all, what is a „bad habit”?

It can be the forward leaning of the head towards the computer screen, which led to the incipient kyphosis that tensions my shoulders and my neck and gives me an almost daily pain.

Or always wearing my backpack to school and back (and later on my shoulder bag) only on the left side, which resulted into a scoliosis that’s been bugging me for years now.

Or the stubborn silence in front of the things that I wanted to do/ have or the things I just wanted to say no to, which led to a pretty thick shell carefully crafted around me for years, too.

It can be taking for granted the entire information from all the people I respect and whose words I’ve never even began to doubt. And that led to copying concepts and movements without even considering running them through my own filter, or adapting them to my personality and my body.

Examples we can find many and we are all entitled to have some : ) And that is not a tragedy at all if we manage to acknowledge them. So the next question is: how do we set the apart from the possible “good habits”? And one of the answers is: by always being aware of ourselves in relation to us and also to the others and the situations in which we are. See? This is why I say that tango is a self discovery process! And I mean that beyond any momentarily perceptions of the concept of self discovery, beyond all the great self development techniques flourished in the last years (which are really good in essence, but I find they barely address facets of the subject). I find tango to be one of the most pure and of essence “techniques” of self discovery. Why? Well, because in order to dance it with the respect it deserves and we deserve, we are “obligated” to analyze and understand ourselves, from the physical to the emotional and mental level and maybe beyond. Again and again! This is our work with us and with the others and it’s a beautiful and rewarding work!

Each teacher/ „maestro” from whom we learn teaches us his/ her personal tango, the one that has been processed through his/ her being and personality, the one adapted to his/ her character and cultural background. It’s the most natural thins possible! You can’t really teach someone something that you haven’t yet understood yourself. But then again there is the other side of the process: the learning and the student/ the receiver of the teachings. And hi/she also has a different personality and particularities. Moreover, all these aspects are relative and they can change within seconds. So, the ideal thing to do is to pass every bit of information through our own filter so that we can assimilate them according to our personal structure.

The most „productive” period for bad habits is that in which we strive to remember – primarily with our bodies – what “natural” feels like. This process depends on the person experimenting it. It can last months, it can go on for years… it can be influenced by so many things. This is a period which a student (4 months in tango) compared to a “he loves me – he loves me not” kind of a relationship or a roller-coaster : ) In this period we are so overwhelmed by our discoveries and our attempts cu understand with our minds what we cannot comprehend yet with our bodies, that we quickly develop bad habit to compensate the many things we’d like to do at once. 

It’s very important that in this period we don’t take on ad litteram everything our teachers say or do. It’s important that we test as much as possible on our bodies and personalities all the things we hear or see – that’s what the Practica is for! Actually it’s important that we always do this, because we always learn and evolve in tango, we absorb and grow through everything we receive from our teachers, our students and all the other tangueros, too. The best thing to do is to test and ask questions, to discover by doing and observing how our bodies respond to movements, challenges and interactions.

If we just take for granted what others tell us we’ll only manage to become imperfect and dull copies of them, because – as I was saying – each tango dancer communicates his/ her personal tango, his/ her perspective on movements and feelings… Instead, if we adapt everything to our way of being, we’ll develop our own tango, we’ll discover it in us and we’ll discover ourselves in it. And we’ll have less bad habits! : )

These bad habits stick very easily to us, because we tend to see them as shortcuts on our way to the „fun” tango. And the easier we let them form, the harder it’ll be to get rid of them. Why? Because they get into our body memory, which is more lasting and more stable than the brain memory. And if you think about the amount of work you put or you’ve put in the beginning in order to remember the natural movement of your body, you’ll know what I mean. Allowing these bad habits – most often out of the laziness of making the “effort” to adapt the information/ movement – you’ll only feed your body unnatural memories. The result is that at one point you’ll realize that your tango is not comfortable and the solution will be one of the two: you’ll either go back to the hard work from the beginning to eliminate the bad habits, or you’ll quit. And I honestly don’t wish for any of these 2 options.

I wish that, if you love yourselves and you love tango, you do the “work” that this hobby requires as serious as children when they’re playing! Discover by plying, by asking questions, by being! Pure and simple!

(http://gancho.info/tango-the-journey-to-ourselves-and-love/) 

Cora

 

Tango – calatoria catre sine si iubire

[english here]

Vorbeam intr-una din orele trecute la tango de asa numitele „obiceiuri rele”, sau „bad habits”, cat de repede si subtil se formeaza si cat de greu se vindeca. Asa ca m-am gandit sa dezvolt putin subiectul.

               

Inainte de toate, ce-i aia un „bad habit”? Poate sa fie aplecarea capului in fata inspre monitor, fapt care a creat inceputul de cifoza pe care o resimt aproape zilnic in tensiunea din umeri si ceafa. Sau purtarea ghiozdanului pana la scoala si inapoi (si mai tarziu a gentii) numai pe umarul stang, lucru care a dus la scolioza care-mi da de furca de amar de ani. Poate sa fie mutenia in fata lucrurilor pe care le-as fi vrut sau pe care as fi vrut sa le refuz, lucru care a dus la o carapace grosuta fabricata cu grija tot atatia amar de ani. Poate sa fie absolutizarea unor informatii primite de la oameni pe care ii respect si al caror cuvant nu l-am pus la indoiala, ceea ce a dus la copierea unor concepte sau miscari fara a le mai trece prin filtrul personal, fara a incerca sa le adaptez personalitatii si corpului meu.

Exemple sunt cu caruta si nimeni nu e absolvit de ele : ) Si asta nu e o tragedie daca ne dam seama de ele. Asadar urmatoarea intrebare este: cum le deosebim de eventualele „good habits”? Fiind foarte atenti la noi insine in raport cu noi insine si, totodata, in raport cu ceilalti si cu situatiile in care ne aflam. Uite, vezi? De-aia zic eu ca tangoul este o descoperire de sine! Si spun asta dincolo de perceptele actuale ale ideii de descoperire de sine, dincolo de toate minunatele tehnici de dezvoltare personala care au inflorit in ultimii ani (care sunt foarte ok, dealtfel, dar mie mi se pare ca ating numai fatete ale subiectului). Spun ca tangoul mi se pare una din cele mai pure si de esenta „tehnici” de descoperire de sine. De ce? Pentru ca, pentru a-l dansa cu respectul care i se cuvine si care ni se cuvine, suntem pusi in situatia de a ne analiza si a ne intelege de la corpul fizic pana la cel emotional, mental si poate si altele. Mereu si mereu! Asta e munca noastra cu noi insine si, implicit cu ceilalti, si este tare frumoasa si plina de recompense!

Fiecare profesor/ maestru care ne invata tango ne invata tangoul lui, cel trecut prin persoana si personalitatea lui, cel adaptat caracterului lui si specificului cultural caruia ii apartine. Este un lucru cat se poate de natural! Nu poti invata cu adevarat pe cineva ceva ce tu insuti inca nu ai asimilat. Dar invatarea nu este un proces unilateral, ea presupune un „receptor” care are la randul lui personalitarea si specificul lui. Si, in plus, toate aceste aspecte sunt relative si se schimba uneori de la o clipa la alta. Asadar, ideal ar fi sa trecem toate informatiile prin filtrul nostru ca sa le sedimentam conform cu structuta personala.

Perioada cea mai „productiva” in bad habits este cea in care ne straduim sa ne amintim – in primul rand cu corpul – ce inseamna naturaletea. Acest proces depinde, din nou, de fiecare in parte. Poate tine cateva luni, poate ajunge la ani... factorii de influenta sunt nenumarati. In aceasta perioada, pe care o eleva (4 luni de tango) a numit-o „o relatie din aia in care ba te vrea ba nu te vrea” sau „roller-coaster” :) suntem atat de coplesiti de redescoperiri si incercarile de a cuprinde cu mintea ceea ce nu ne iese din prima sa cuprindem cu corpul, incat dezvoltam rapid niste obiceiuri proaste care par sa compenseze multitudinea de lucruri pe care vrem sa le facem deodata.

E foarte important in perioada asta de inceput sa nu ne asumam ad litteram tot ce ne spun sau fac mentorii nostri. Sa testam cat de mult posibil tot ce auzim si vedem pe corpul nostru si pe personalitatea noastra – de asta avem practica! E important sa facem asta tot timpul, caci tot timpul invatam si evoluam in tango, asimilam si crestem prin tot ce primim atat ca elevi de la maestri, cat si ca profesori de la elevi si, evident, de la toti ceilalti dansatori. E bine sa testam si sa punem intrebari, sa descoperim facand si observand cum reactioneaza corpul la anumite miscari, provocari si interactiuni. 

Daca vom lua de bun ce ne spun ceilalti nu vom reusi decat sa fim niste copii imperfecte si sterse ale altora, pentru ca – asa cum spuneam – fiecare transmite tangoul lui personal, perspectiva lui asupra miscarilor si trairilor... In schimb, daca adaptam totul la felul nostru de a fi, vom dezvolta tangoul nostru, il vom descoperi in noi si ne vom descoperi pe noi in el. Si vom deprinde mult mai putine obiceiuri rele! 

Aceste obiceiuri rele se lipesc foarte usor de noi, pentru ca le vedem ca pe niste „scurtaturi” in drumul spre tangoul „fun”. Si pe cat de usor le adoptam, pe atat de greu vom reusi sa scapam de ele. De ce? Pentru ca ele sunt inmagazinate in memoria corpului, care este mai de durata si mai stabila decat memoria mentala. Si daca va ganditi acum cata munca depuneti sau ati depus la inceput ca sa redescoperiti miscarile naturale ale corpului vostru, o sa intelegeti la ce ma refer. Acceptand aceste obiceiuri rele – de cele mai multe ori din simpla lene de a face efortul suplimentar ca sa adaptati informatia/ miscarea – nu faceti decat sa hraniti corpului amintiri nenaturale. Rezultatul este ca la un moment dat veti sesiza ca tangoul vostru nu e confortabil, iar solutiile vor fi una din doua: fie veti reveni la munca de la inceput ca sa eliminati acele bad habits, fie va veti lasa de tango. Eu nu-mi doresc pentru nimeni niciuna din cele 2 variante. 

Imi doresc, daca va iubiti pe voi si tangoul, sa faceti „munca” aferenta acestui „hobby” cu seriozitatea cu care se joaca copii! Descoperiti jucandu-va si punand intrebari si fiind! Pur si simplu!

(http://gancho.info/tango-the-journey-to-ourselves-and-love/) 

Cora

Great expectations or how I discovered “here”

We, as human beings, have a tendency to get used to the good things in our lives and then take it for granted, or even stop appreciating it. We get “cocky” about the things we do well and forget what they mean to us. And what’s most dangerous is that we forget that actually everything is about learning more…

I had an interesting tango experience recently somewhere other than my country. An experience about expectations and humbleness, one that made me look closely to what I have home and appreciate it a hell of a lot more than I did lately.

So, after coming back, while dancing tango, I got surprised by one small detail: there was something different in my embrace, in the way I felt I was giving myself in the embrace and also in its form. It was something I wished to achieve before, but couldn’t, neither physically, nor… metaphysically. The change was involuntary, somehow natural, but it caught my attention so I took note of the moment and observed the details.

All this led to my realizing – in a different, more profound way than before – that everything is a forever ongoing process. That every step, every move, every feeling or embrace is a process. That the moment I said “There! I have this one figured out! I’ve learned this lesson, let’s move on to the next!” that was the moment that everything had changed. And I had to start all over again with the learning and absorbing the new way with my mind and body. And sometimes it was frustrating…

But what I discovered now is that nothing is final! Neither the steps, nor the understanding of the movements – even if they seem the same, nor the feelings, nor the essence of the embrace. I will never reach that ultimate “There! I’ve learned this!” and I find a great joy and relief in this discovery. Why? Because this way I can allow myself to make mistakes and then be compassionate about it with me. I can allow myself to get mad and then get over it. I can accept having faults, being happy and moving forward. Because everything is a process, I can allow myself to always learn more and from a lot more people present in my life.

And - maybe the most important thing - every time I find myself repeating any lesson in tango I realize that it’s not the lesson that has changed, not the steps, nor the movements… but me. Therefore I see and feel and integrate them differently. The things I wanted to change but couldn’t become suddenly available and flexible and they fit me. Not because I’ve somehow changed them, but because I am different in a way that I can understand and accept them.

This is a good life lesson, too. And now the prayer “'God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdome to know the difference” has a lot of new meanings for me : ) This form of acceptance doesn’t include giving up, but it represents knowing that there will come a moment when I match those „unchangeable” things. It all depends on how I follow my path, how I do the work, how I lead my life. And also on the patience with which I allow life to happen, with everything in it: tango, people, love... me...

 And going back to the idea of appreciating what I have, I just want to say this: tango in Romania is of high quality, people here are welcoming and joyfull and good hearted, we have excellent teachers and a very nice community and... there’s more to say. But what I’ve really learned is not to compare any of this with another place, other people or  their quality of dance. I’ll just compare the way it was HERE yesterday with the way it is HERE today and I know I’ll be pleased with the progress.

I’m doing the same with my own... existance and evolution... and I’m happy about the tango in my life and the life in my tango! And the people! And the changes! And the experiences! And... 

(http://gancho.info/great-expectations-or-how-i-discovered-here/) 

Cora

Tango crush

When I first read Jennifer Brat’s article ‘’The Beginner’s Crush’’ (http://lasastresa.blogspot.ro/2009/03/beginners-crush-articol-de-jennifer.html) I thought ‘’Boy, I was lucky!! Something like that never happened to me.’’ I think I had somewhat more than a year of dancing tango and I was really happy that I was warned about the possibility of being falsely ‘love struck’ by an experienced leader. I managed to keep me away from the pain, I was proud of myself! Proud Mary keep on burning….

Burning, burning….

Here I am, 5 years later, looking back on my experiences in the ronda. And I can say, for the first time out loud, ‘Oh, I got burned a few times, some of them so bad, I am surprised I’m still dancing!’’ :)))

So it got me thinking about the subject and in my opinion there are three main expressions of the so called tango crush.

One of them is the dangerous one, where either the lady or the man mistakes the amazing feeling on the dance floor with feelings for the partner. From the stories I’ve heard, this usually happens to the girls when they dance with a more experienced leader, because we are more likely to be impressed by a man who shows strength and determination. They say that leaders (men) tend to feel insecure with a more skilled follower, so the possibility of being impressed to the extent of a crush is rare, but still probable.

Even if it’s hard to admit (in fact, I only admitted it to myself just a short while ago) this happened to me too, at least twice J The first time it hit me hard and lasted for quite some time. Luckily, the leader dwelt in a different part of this world, so purusing the illusionary feeling was difficult, so until the next time I saw him things were... easier to deal with :D

Another stage is the ‘’aware’’ one, usually the safest too. It’s when you get the butterflies in your stomach after a divine tanda and you’re in between appreciating the dance and falling for your partner. You actually know it’s not the person, but the Tango that just swept you of your feet, but you allow yourself to like – just a little bit – the person too J These are the flings that happen a lot, probably not just in the tango community. But the good part is no one gets hurt, it’s just the jovial, fun side of socializing and dancing.

I’m guessing most of us know that feeling after a surreal, incredible tanda when you just want to take off your shoes and stare into the void with a stupid but satisfied smile on your face… 

The third one is the most amazing one, because it’s a rare bird. It’s about the really lucky people who find their life partner in the tango world. I think this is the (secret) dream of most single people who got the tango virus. You’ll hear them state that they are in ‘’the tango business’’ for their personal development, for the inherent socializing, for the dance itself, for their egocentric pleasure… But deep down, they are in search of their own little fairy tale with the perfect tango and life partner!

I know a few couples who had this blessing to find each other in this amazing world ruled by the great Tango. And even if some have a simple story, or others have absolutely incredible movie-like stories, it all comes down to just meeting somewhere in the tangoshpere, getting to know each other, falling in love…

I’ve been through the first two and waiting (secretly, of course) for the third one : )

How about you?...

(http://gancho.info/tango-crush/)

Cora

Obiceiurile rele mor greu

Vorbeam intr-una din orele trecute la tango de asa numitele „obiceiuri rele”, sau „bad habits”, cat de repede si subtil se formeaza si cat de greu se vindeca. Asa ca m-am gandit sa dezvolt putin subiectul.

Inainte de toate, ce-i aia un „bad habit”? Poate sa fie aplecarea capului in fata inspre monitor, fapt care a creat inceputul de cifoza pe care o resimt aproape zilnic in tensiunea din umeri si ceafa. Sau purtarea ghiozdanului pana la scoala si inapoi (si mai tarziu a gentii) numai pe umarul stang, lucru care a dus la scolioza care-mi da de furca de amar de ani. Poate sa fie mutenia in fata lucrurilor pe care le-as fi vrut sau pe care as fi vrut sa le refuz, lucru care a dus la o carapace grosuta fabricata cu grija tot atatia amar de ani. Poate sa fie absolutizarea unor informatii primite de la oameni pe care ii respect si al caror cuvant nu l-am pus la indoiala, ceea ce a dus la copierea unor concepte sau miscari fara a le mai trece prin filtrul personal, fara a incerca sa le adaptez personalitatii si corpului meu.

Exemple sunt cu caruta si nimeni nu e absolvit de ele : ) Si asta nu e o tragedie daca ne dam seama de ele. Asadar urmatoarea intrebare este: cum le deosebim de eventualele „good habits”? Fiind foarte atenti la noi insine in raport cu noi insine si, totodata, in raport cu ceilalti si cu situatiile in care ne aflam. Uite, vezi? De-aia zic eu ca tangoul este o descoperire de sine! Si spun asta dincolo de perceptele actuale ale ideii de descoperire de sine, dincolo de toate minunatele tehnici de dezvoltare personala care au inflorit in ultimii ani (care sunt foarte ok, dealtfel, dar mie mi se pare ca ating numai fatete ale subiectului). Spun ca tangoul mi se pare una din cele mai pure si de esenta „tehnici” de descoperire de sine. De ce? Pentru ca, pentru a-l dansa cu respectul care i se cuvine si care ni se cuvine, suntem pusi in situatia de a ne analiza si a ne intelege de la corpul fizic pana la cel emotional, mental si poate si altele. Mereu si mereu! Asta e munca noastra cu noi insine si, implicit cu ceilalti, si este tare frumoasa si plina de recompense!

Fiecare profesor/ maestru care ne invata tango ne invata tangoul lui, cel trecut prin persoana si personalitatea lui, cel adaptat caracterului lui si specificului cultural caruia ii apartine. Este un lucru cat se poate de natural! Nu poti invata cu adevarat pe cineva ceva ce tu insuti inca nu ai asimilat. Dar invatarea nu este un proces unilateral, ea presupune un „receptor” care are la randul lui personalitarea si specificul lui. Si, in plus, toate aceste aspecte sunt relative si se schimba uneori de la o clipa la alta. Asadar, ideal ar fi sa trecem toate informatiile prin filtrul nostru ca sa le sedimentam conform cu structuta personala.

Perioada cea mai „productiva” in bad habits este cea in care ne straduim sa ne amintim – in primul rand cu corpul – ce inseamna naturaletea. Acest proces depinde, din nou, de fiecare in parte. Poate tine cateva luni, poate ajunge la ani... factorii de influenta sunt nenumarati. In aceasta perioada, pe care o eleva (4 luni de tango) a numit-o „o relatie din aia in care ba te vrea ba nu te vrea” sau „roller-coaster” :) suntem atat de coplesiti de redescoperiri si incercarile de a cuprinde cu mintea ceea ce nu ne iese din prima sa cuprindem cu corpul, incat dezvoltam rapid niste obiceiuri proaste care par sa compenseze multitudinea de lucruri pe care vrem sa le facem deodata.

E foarte important in perioada asta de inceput sa nu ne asumam ad litteram tot ce ne spun sau fac mentorii nostri. Sa testam cat de mult posibil tot ce auzim si vedem pe corpul nostru si pe personalitatea noastra – de asta avem practica! E important sa facem asta tot timpul, caci tot timpul invatam si evoluam in tango, asimilam si crestem prin tot ce primim atat ca elevi de la maestri, cat si ca profesori de la elevi si, evident, de la toti ceilalti dansatori. E bine sa testam si sa punem intrebari, sa descoperim facand si observand cum reactioneaza corpul la anumite miscari, provocari si interactiuni.

Daca vom lua de bun ce ne spun ceilalti nu vom reusi decat sa fim niste copii imperfecte si sterse ale altora, pentru ca – asa cum spuneam – fiecare transmite tangoul lui personal, perspectiva lui asupra miscarilor si trairilor... In schimb, daca adaptam totul la felul nostru de a fi, vom dezvolta tangoul nostru, il vom descoperi in noi si ne vom descoperi pe noi in el. Si vom deprinde mult mai putine obiceiuri rele! 

Aceste obiceiuri rele se lipesc foarte usor de noi, pentru ca le vedem ca pe niste „scurtaturi” in drumul spre tangoul „fun”. Si pe cat de usor le adoptam, pe atat de greu vom reusi sa scapam de ele. De ce? Pentru ca ele sunt inmagazinate in memoria corpului, care este mai de durata si mai stabila decat memoria mentala. Si daca va ganditi acum cata munca depuneti sau ati depus la inceput ca sa redescoperiti miscarile naturale ale corpului vostru, o sa intelegeti la ce ma refer. Acceptand aceste obiceiuri rele – de cele mai multe ori din simpla lene de a face efortul suplimentar ca sa adaptati informatia/ miscarea – nu faceti decat sa hraniti corpului amintiri nenaturale. Rezultatul este ca la un moment dat veti sesiza ca tangoul vostru nu e confortabil, iar solutiile vor fi una din doua: fie veti reveni la munca de la inceput ca sa eliminati acele bad habits, fie va veti lasa de tango. Eu nu-mi doresc pentru nimeni niciuna din cele 2 variante.

Imi doresc, daca va iubiti pe voi si tangoul, sa faceti „munca” aferenta acestui „hobby” cu seriozitatea cu care se joaca copii! Descoperiti jucandu-va si punand intrebari si fiind! Pur si simplu! :)

Cora

La tango să nu te duci cu sacul (by Dollo)

(autor: Dollo; sursa: www.dollo.ro)

Dar poți să te îmbraci cu cele mai sexy haine pe care le-ai ținut până acum în șifonier, pentru că n-ai avut curaj să le porți în public.

Ce rochie frumoasă!, m-a complimentat E., una dintre colegele de „suferință” în serile de tango de luni și miercuri. Mi-era jenă să spun că e veche de câțiva ani, dar am spus. N-o purtasem decât o dată, la un Revelion, unde toată noaptea am tras de ea în jos, crezând că am picioarele prea dezgolite. O să vezi, la tango vei putea purta tot ce ai ascuns până acum în șifonier, pentru că nu aveai curajul să le porți în public, îmi zice ea zâmbind.

Ne reflectam, ca niște balerine ratate, în oglinda sălii de dans, încercând cu încă două colege să învățăm un pas de dans care începea cu ridicarea lascivă a unui picior, din șold. Oglinda ne răspundea cu gesturi stângace, de parcă n-am fi fost femei în toată firea, ci abia ieșisem toate de la o școală de maici. Cineva ne spusese că mișcarea trebuie să fie ca o autoîmbrățișare a coapselor. Sigur făcusem asta vreodată fiecare în propria intimitate, dar nu ne văzuse decât oglinda de la baie, probabil.

C., profa noastră, ne tot repetă că trebuie să ne mișcăm ca pisicile, lasciv, languros, felin, fie că mergem înainte sau înapoi, însă e aproape imposibil să te miști ca o pisică atunci când te simți ca Bambi pe gheață. Mă priveam în oglindă, cu rochia mea cea nepurtabilă până atunci, și mă întrebam ce mă reține să-mi arăt în public afecțiunea pentru propriul corp? Ce m-a făcut până acum să nu mă simt în largul meu la gândul că am un corp și să-l pun în valoare când dansez? Și mi-am dat seama că asta e una dintre eliberările personale pentru care-mi place să merg la tango.

I. era într-o zi aproape furioasă pe modul în care părinții, societatea, educația ne reprimă naturalețea naivă cu care ne naștem. O fi vreo conspirație universală a părinților cu școlile de tango. Unii ne dau peste mână de mici, ca nu cumva să devenim niște „stricate”, iar școlile de tango ne iau banii mai târziu, ca să ne redea încrederea în noi. Pe mine mama nu m-a lăsat nicio clipă să uit că am anumite îndatoriri de fată cuminte, iar restricțiile astea picurate ani de zile în mintea ta sunt de natură să-ți ucidă orice tendință de a-ți pune vreodată trupul în valoare, de teamă ca nu cumva să se creadă că faci avansuri indecente. Sigur că de atunci am traversat și eu una-două revoluții sexuale, ba declarativ par… destul de libertină, dar la un anume nivel, nebănuit, se pare că am rămas aceeași fată timidă care are probleme de acceptare a senzualității și de savurare a plăcerilor vinovate.

Știu chestiile astea par aberații pentru fetele de azi, dar pe vremea mea cam așa gândeau mamele. Politica pronatalistă din comunism, combinată cu o pudibonderie oarecum normală a societății pentru vremurile alea (chiar dacă pe alte continente se trăia flower power) și-au pus amprenta în felul ăsta pe viața câtorva generații, și nu numai pe viața sexuală, cum s-ar fi crezut.

În ultima lună am dublat numărul de ore de tango la EPT. Încă nu am avut curajul să merg la o milonga. Și practica cu mai mulți dansatori de la alte școli e deocamdată ca o olimpiadă pentru mine, dar vine el și momentul ăsta. Cu siguranță există un progres în mica mea evoluție, dar o altă descoperire a fost aceea că eșecul vine când te aștepți la prea mult. Cu cât te duci mai încărcat de așteptări, cu atât cresc șansele să pleci dezamăgit. Cu alte cuvinte, la tango să nu te duci ca la pomul lăudat. Încă o ocazie pentru cunoscători să spună că în tango e ca și în viață…. Orele mele de tango au semănat în ultima lună cu o relație din aia în care ba te vrea, ba te ignoră. Au fost seri în care am plecat de acolo plină de adrenalină și cu fluturi în stomac – da, am înțeles că există îndrăgosteala de o tanda ;) – și seri în care m-am mișcat ca un fund crispat și fricos să nu alunece pe gheață. Am savurat deopotrivă dansuri stângace cu începători – mai ales când eu m-am simțit mai avansată și n-am mai avut inhibiții sau emoții – dar și plăcerea de a te lăsa condusă de „un bărbat cu experiență”, cum îi place tot lui I. să spună, atunci când vrea să învețe niște pași de la un avansat.

Trebuie să recunosc că e foarte plăcut roller-coaster-ul ăsta din viața mea, care mă face să trăiesc abia acum, la 40, ceea ce ar fi trebuit să gust în adolescență: descoperirea propriului trup, a faptului că poate fi plăcut să-l pui în valoare și să te lași cu el și cu toate senzațiile adiacente în brațele unui „bărbat cu experiență”, fără ca asta să însemne ceva rău, compromițător sau rușinos. Dimpotrivă :)

*

Ca să știți și voi cum îmi bate mie inima de două ori pe săptămână, ascultați aici :)

Doua picioare stangi si un cap prea rational (by Dollo)

(autor: Dollo; sursa: www.dollo.ro)

De obicei e nevoie de doi ca să dansezi tango. În realitate am doi instructori și o clasă de colegi de diverse niveluri, iar după patru luni de cursuri încă nu sunt capabilă să mă las în voia unui bărbat și să-l las să mă danseze ;)

Trebuie să-l iei în brațe ca și când ar fi un prieten pe care nu l-ai văzut de zece ani și ți-a fost tare dor de el. Ăsta e secretul îmbrățișării milonguero, astfel încât poziția în dans a celor doi parteneri să rămână constantă pe toată durata dansului. Ia-l în brațe gândindu-te că este acest prieten vechi și drag –  îmi spune M., care învățase trucul ăsta de la primul ei profesor de tango.

Mă uit indecisă la bărbatul din fața mea. Ne chinuiam de câteva melodii să exersăm un ocho – pas de tango care presupune ca femeia să se tot unduiască mergând în spate sau lateral, ghidată de partener. Tipul are bluza udă, broboane mari de sudoare îi șiroiesc pe frunte și câte una se mai prelinge între noi, din când în când. Nu mă încurajează să-l iau în brațe (ca și când ar fi un prieten pe care nu l-am mai văzut de zece ani…) și mă anunță autocritic că a reușit să-mi lase urme de transpirație pe tricou, deci nu e cazul să-mi fac iluzii cu privire la îmbrățișarea aia. Să rămânem la stadiul la care ne aflăm – e a treia oară când dansăm împreună. Și „dansăm” e un cuvânt prea generos pentru nivelul nostru actual.

Îmbrățișarea milonguero mi se pare în continuare cea mai grea noțiune de tango din cele pe care le-am învățat în astea aproape patru luni de când m-am apucat să dansez. Pe de-o parte mi se pare o intruziune în spațiul meu personal – să-ți lipești pieptul de pieptul unui bărbat total necunoscut, și capul de obrazul lui poate fi aproape o fantezie sexy uneori, dar eu n-am reușit s-o gust, încă, într-o sală de tango ;)

Cum spune C., profa de tango, ilustrând manevra cu propriul piept, „mișcarea e asta: îi iei și-i oferi liderului”. Ehei, sânii sunt un subiect sensibil – cel puțin pentru mine – deci am încă rețineri în a-i oferi așa oricui ;) Dincolo de glumă, profesorii se străduiesc să ne alunge din cap orice gând cum că îmbrățișarea asta ar avea vreo conotație sexuală. Nici n-are, cel puțin în stadiul în care la fiecare melodie schimbi partenerul, astfel încât să învețe fiecare câte puțin de la fiecare.

Celălalt motiv pentru care încă nu mă simt confortabil în îmbrățișarea asta este lipsa mea cronică de încredere. În mine în principal, dar probabil că și în bărbați. Senzația e destul de prezentă la mai mulți din sala de dans, majoritatea suntem oameni single, trecuți prin suficiente relații nereușite cu viața. Totuși, tango-ul e un mijloc minunat de autocunoaștere, de a te redescoperi (ca femeie) și de a comunica într-un fel nonverbal cu lumea. De aia e un proces greu pe care unii îl abandonează pe drum. Pentru o femeie independentă – majoritatea suntem așa pe acolo – e o provocare majoră să te lași trup și simțuri în brațele unui bărbat și să-i urmezi mișcările. În tango e un singur lider – bărbatul, și un follower – femeia. El trebuie să fie creierul, tu trebuie să te lași pusă în valoare de el. Unora nu le iese asta în cuplu, darmite în tango.

Deși pare că nu e mare lucru – mai ales dacă vezi și filmul „Parfum de femeie” unde un orb și o începătoare reușesc să acopere ringul de dans cu mișcări răscolitoare – realitatea e ceva mai prozaică.

Dar îți calci pe rețineri, îți alungi gândurile inerente și te lipești de lider. Cel puțin „la poză” cum îmi spunea G., unul dintre lideri, îmbrățișarea e corectă. Pe parcurs se rupe din varii motive, în principal din cauză că cele expuse mai sus nu sunt depășite și asimilate. Privită din oglinzile de pe pereții sălii de dans îmbrățișarea asta pare una incomodă pentru femeie. Poate pentru că femeia a uitat să se mai sprijine pe bărbat și preferă să-i pună la îndoială „stilul de dans”, ar zice M., un alt lider care mă învăța în primele ore cum să fac să mă abandonez complet în seama lui. „Închide ochii și ascultă muzica, nu gândi (!) și nu-mi anticipa pașii”. N-am reușit s-o fac nici acum. Nu închid ochii (uneori e interesant să-ți privești liderul în ochi;), nu pot să nu anticipez ce vrea să facă liderul, și de multe ori nici măcar nu ascult muzica, fiind ocupată să nu greșesc și să plec de pe loc cu piciorul greșit. În final rezultă că dansez mai mult cu capul decât cu picioarele, ceea ce pare aproape paradoxal pentru mine, care de prea multe ori în viață mă las ghidată de simțire și mai puțin de rațiune.

Cei mai vechi în tango mă încurajează că relaxarea va veni cu timpul, exact atunci când nu mă aștept. Că voi avea la un moment dat o revelație despre poziția cea mai potrivită astfel încât să mă simt confortabil în brațele partenerului de dans și să pot dansa cu plăcere un maraton de tango.

Recitind ce am scris mai sus îmi dau seama că orele mele de tango sună mai degrabă a supliciu, decât a plăcere. Nu e așa. Fiecare luni seara petrecută pe podeaua aia tocită de tocuri și tălpi mă face să zâmbesc toată săptămâna. Iar din 3 februarie porția va fi dublă, pentru că începe școala serios, cu ore lunea și miercurea, de la 20.00 la 23.00 Dacă vă tentează să încercați veniți la Escuela Principal de Tango și vă convingeți singuri. Dacă nu, așteptați-vă că vor mai apărea p-aci postări despre asta, pentru că eu una sunt cucerită gata și decisă să perseverez.

My "Critical Value" in Tango

[romana aici]
 
With me it’s simple - if there’s feeling, I’m the happiest girl in the ronda. But it’s a two-way street and everything depends on how vulnerable I allow myself to be at any given time.

Some time ago (about 4 years) I touched a peak of the connection in a tanda. It was the textbook definition of breath-taking! When he invited me to dance I was aware of his level (that is a much higher one than mine...), but I didn’t have any expectations at that moment... He embraced me like no other leader has ever done before, and still it was nothing but a tango embrace! We couldn’t, and for sure didn’t try at all, break the embrace, not even during the few seconds in between the songs of the tanda... it was simply magical! :) I searched that embrace afterwards with other leaders, but I couldn’t find it easily.

It did happen to me again though, pretty recently, when I least expect it, of course. It was just as evanescent as the first time - one or two euphoric tandas...

In both cases the story is still visible in details and shades on the direct source: the pictures that stand as witnesses over time. The closed eyes say more than I have ever conveyed with them open, as if trying to hold the feeling inside as much as possible, my smile - complicit with his... it’s really visible in every trait of my expression, I think... And in both cases I suffered when it was over. Most of all the first time, cause I had the chance of dancing again with that leader, after years, and we couldn’t find that connection anymore... It was almost unreal how much that hurt... and how much I’ve learned from that pain. I suffered the second time, too, but in a... normal way... as one might suffer after the taste of a good wine when it’s gone...

For me it all starts with the embrace - as the song says ‘It’s in his kiss’, in tango I could say ‘It’s in his embrace’. The way we stay in each other’s arms, the way we move together along the tanda in each other’s arms, the way we linger a few seconds in each other’s arms just after the tanda ends... these are the milestones of my happiness. It’s true that it is completed by the way the embrace floats on music and the way it can be lit by the surprise of little technicalities :)

But the critical value for me is the embrace. To be so close to the person you’re dancing with and not breath together, not move together, not complete that togetherness by giving in with all of your best seems almost pagan... I’m also a pagan sometimes, when I feel vulnerable and I think I need my own space, separate from my partner, separate from the dance, separate even from the music, a space into which I can escape to feel safe... But every time I do this I understand, again and again, that this is the least safe place there is... And only by returning into the partner, the dance and the music I can wear my complicit smile again.

From such reflections a question emerged: what does it take for an embrace to become THE embrace? And I realised that there is no unique formula, no generally valid rule, not even a pure personal formula. And that is because as my inner state shifts in matter of seconds, the embraces also changes; it is different with each partner, it varies on the music of Di Sarli, or De Angelis, or Pugliese, or Canaro; it changes with almost every step I take.

But what stays the same beyond all this are attitude and emotion. I have always imagined the perfect embrace the one I give to the dearest person in my life, whom I’ve met again after a very long time and whom I’ve missed like crazy. And this is why I know those euphorical tandas do exist - because sometimes I find that partner who comes along and surprises me by vibrating in the same way, speaking the same language, receiving and offering with the same care and longing... And for me, this makes the search worthwhile... :)

And there’s one more ‚little’ thing: therapists say that embrace is one of the most efficient methods of healing both soul and body. The main reason is that hugs give that safety feeling of peace, compassion and gratitude that help us stay positive. That has a major influence over the human state of existence (we all know the impact of music, colors, scents and dance in healing methods, precisely due to the soothing effects) and helps – sometimes with miracles – the healing process.

Virginia Satir, family therapist, says that ‘We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.’  You can check out more info here.

Now imagine how many hugs we get in one milonga and do the math yourselves!

What is your healing experience with the tango embrace? :)

PS: I'm happy to report that after those 2 amazing experiences with the tango embrace (the latter being already one year old), I have had others and they keep coming. So never ever stop searching!

Cora